Crash and burn

km: 23.6645, for the week: 57

Conversation overheard in my front room at about 16:00 yesterday:

DB “my god you look terrible”
JRuns “I feel terrible”
DB “quick, have something to drink”
JRuns “no thanks, I need to go die in the corner somewhere”

Rewind to lunch-time, and if you were somewhere in the Mooroolbark region, you would have seen me setting off for my weekly long run, all bright-eyed and bushy tailed, little knowing the ordeal ahead of me.

Yes, it was possibly my worst long run, and very possibly the worst run ever, full stop.

At less than 2k into it, I had to stop and walk up a fairly innocuous hill. I was sweating like a pig in a pizza oven, and even detected a bit of calf-tightening.

So, at this point I was sweaty, tired, dehydrated, sore.

I persisted though on the grounds I was:

1. damn stubborn
2. at least 10k from home, with no mobile to call for help.

At 8k I took a spectacular tumble coming down the hill from Montrose. Somehow I managed to land like I was doing a long-jump, with limbs all somehow pointing forward.

So, at this point add bleeding, dirty and undignified to the list.

I struggled on, took a left into Colchester road and then right into the Dandy creek trail.

By this stage I was giving new meaning to the term “run yourself ugly”. In fact I was verging on “run yourself unconscious”.

I had, however, reached that stage when it’s easier to keep going than to stop. I was able to cruise along the DC trail, which is mercifully flat on the whole. I made it all the way to Wantirna road without major incident. I did scare a few pensioners and small animals, but they’ll live.

At this point I wanted to push on towards Koomba park, but had the feeling I was pushing into fainting territory. I turned right and headed up the hill towards Ringwood. The next few kilometres are a bit of a blur. I ended up with some gatorade somehow, so I must have either gone into a shop or robbed a small child.

Somehow I ended up at home, after almost falling over in the video store (don’t ask). So, over 2 slow, painful hours later the long run was over.

I still feel pretty crappy this morning. I don’t know exactly why this happened, but I’ve made some guesses below.

Lessons from the experience:

• Even if I’ve eaten a big serve of curry the night before, I still need to eat some breakfast.
• 24 degrees is too hot to run without good hydration.
• I need to sleep before a long run
• If I’m feeling really bad, I shouldn’t keep running out of subbornness.