welfare for the undeserving

km: 10, for the week: 22.5452

Readers, there has been terrible, shocking news in the last 24 hours. Apparently, hoards of teenagers have been getting themselves knocked up just to pick up the $4000 baby bonus. Of course, the ungrateful little buggers are just blowing the money on plasma screens, text-messages to Australian Idol and hipster jeans. Bloody dole bludgers.

This is so distressing, and surprising. After all, the baby bonus was such a well thought out idea and had absolutely nothing to do with vote buying during an election campaign.

In a way, the worst thing is that respectable, law-abiding, mainstream families, who want nothing more from the baby bonus than to pay for 2% of the new Range Rover, are forced into the ranks of welfare recipients. When I signed up I had to go into Centrelink, and associate with a terribly low class of person. How declasse.

What’s more, now I’m at risk of a Centrelink fine if I make an innocent mistake estimating my annual income in advance (easily done).

I’m glad they’re clamping down on the ungrateful, undeserving wretches. That way there’ll be more for decent people like us.

As a wise man once said, “I didn’t earn it, I don’t need it, but if they miss one payment, I’ll raise hell”.