stop being tired

The internet is a wonderful thing - it gives us access to all the loony theories of the world and helps while away the dreary afternoons in which we would otherwise have to work.

Two examples:

Andrew Bolt
Not strictly an internet thing, but it’s on the Herald Sun website so I’ll let it through. This is Master Bolt’s piece describing Sophie Monk’s nude photo shoot:

She looks simply delicious, and makes me salivate for a beef curry.

Now, I know he’s trying to be funny, but the idea that he wants to eat Sophie Monk is just plain wierd, even for a right-wing nut-job propogandist.

I’m not even going to get into his companion piece on the great debate, in which he describes the Nine network as “left-leaning”.

Really? That would explain why Peter Hitchener keeps interrupting news stories to sing a quick verse of the Internationale.

You can sleep less
As a parent of a young child, this is dear to my heart. Apparently, my troubles with feeling tired, grumpy and exhausted are actually because I sleep too much.

That makes sense.

Now, when you think about it, it all makes sense. If it wouldn’t be for tiredness, we wouldn’t need sleep. We could just stay awake for the whole 24 hours each day. Tiredness is preventing us from doing that.
Source: stopbeingtired.com

Right. So, I would need less sleep if only I could manage to be less tired. Of course, why didn’t I think of that?

And how do I get less tired? The answers are all in one convenient “end tiredness program”, only $37 US.

Brilliant. Where do I sign?

Update
Yesterday I mentioned a poor tase headline from Crikey.com.au about Crazy John Ilhan. Today I’ve found something even blacker, from the Onion:

Lethal Injection Ban Leads To Rise In Back-Alley Lethal Injections

TALLAHASSEE,FL—”If governors can’t execute prisoners legally in prisons, they’re going to turn elsewhere for the procedure,” said Dr. Daniel Blecker.

.onion_embed {background: rgb(256, 256, 256) !important;border: 4px solid rgb(65, 160, 65);border-width: 4px 0 1px 0;margin: 10px 30px !important;padding: 5px;overflow: hidden !important;zoom: 1;}.onion_embed img {border: 0 !important;}.onion_embed a {display: inline;}.onion_embed a.img {float: left !important;margin: 0 5px 0 0 !important;width: 66px;display: block;overflow: hidden !important;}.onion_embed a.img img {border: 1px solid #222 !important;;width: 64px;;padding: 0 !important;;}.onion_embed h2 {line-height: 2px;;clear: none;;margin: 0 !important;padding: 0 !important;}.onion_embed h3 {line-height: 16px;font: bold 16px arial, sans-serif !important;margin: 3px 0 0 0 !important;padding: 0 !important;}.onion_embed h3 a {line-height: 16px !important;;color: rgb(0, 51, 102) !important;font: bold 16px arial, sans-serif !important;text-decoration: none !important;display: inline !important;;float: none !important;;text-transform: capitalize !important;}.onion_embed h3 a:hover {text-decoration: underline !important;color: rgb(204, 51, 51) !important;}.onion_embed p {color: #000 !important;;font: normal 11px/ 11px arial, sans-serif !important;;margin: 2px 0 0 0 !important;;padding: 0 !important;}.onion_embed a {display: inline !important;;float: none !important;}
At least that’s supposed to be funny.