Some people should NOT win the lottery

Australia, presumably in the grip of some temporary insanity, invested god knows how many millions of dollars in the lottery recently. For two people, it paid off rather nicely. The rest of us are left a little poorer, and feeling slightly foolish.

I respectfully suggest: many, if not most, of the people who bought tickets should on no account be allowed to own that amount of money.

Take this selection of people who wrote in to the Herald sun website over the last 24 hours.

Bernard of Toorak, who doesn’t quite seem to understand how much money was on offer:

I will buy a new toothbrush, a box of toothpicks, a years supply of tissue from the $2 shop, a new spark plug for mower, a back scratcher, a welcome mat, a monthly all zone train pass, a new garden hose …….gee list goes on and on. I would sponsor a child on world vision and shout everyone into “Bruno” Gold Class. On top of that I would shout my friends to all they can eat at Maccas. Its no use hording it all you must spend it.

Note his use of “I will”. He seemed confident. I wonder what he’s doing today?

Then there’s Paul, who said:

I’d buy my girlfriend some plastic surgery. But not from Tori Spelling’s doctor.

Paul’s obviously out to win friends.

Tass of St. Albans is another one who doesn’t quite understand the numbers we’re dealing with:

I would get my Camry re-sprayed and maybe a reconditioned motor. Then I would have a BBQ where I would pay for all the beer and the chops.

So generous. $100 million and he/she will pay for chops, but not sausages?

My favourite comment has to go to Andrew of Docklands, who said:

I would buy every Denis Walter CD…and get him to sing at my house!!!!!He is FANTASTIC!!!!!!

Six exclamation marks. That’s pretty fantastic.

So, the question is, what would I have done if I won the lottery? That’s easy, I’d have Haile Gabresellaise’s legs, lungs and heart implanted in my body, then win the Gold Coast Marathon this Sunday.

Running
None so far today. Bloody work. Bloody rain. I’ll get out for a stroll tonight.