you don’t need a weatherman

A great man once said, or rather, sang:

“You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows”

He was right too. You just need to go outside, lick your finger and stick it up in the air.

The thing is: he didn’t go far enough. At least in Melbourne, you also don’t need a weatherman to know if:

• it’s raining
• it’s cold
• it’s hot
• it’s hailing or
• absolutely anything out of the ordinary.

No, because Connex kindly alerts us to any unusual climatic events by shutting down around a third of its trains.

For example, this morning it was a bit windy and there were a few drops of rain falling.

Clearly disastrous.

So, the 7:30am train from Ringwood East suddenly developed “serious mechanical problems” and had to have a breather at Ringwood station. Not before kicking us all out to stand in the rain (now heavy) for 20 minutes until the next train rocked up.

Thanks very much.

Running
I was up at 5am today to do the mid-week long run. It was pretty much right on 18km around the streets near my place. There were a few hills, and the wind picked up towards the end, so it took me over 80 minutes.

Here it is on mapmyrun.com.

pork chops and a soaking

I did something last night that, in retrospect, I’m not all that proud of. You might say it was a bit wrong. In my defence, it all seemed so logical at the time.

It involved pork chops. Now, I know there are those amongst this blog’s readership who will think anything involving pork chops is a bit wrong (mostly vegetarian, queasy types). I don’t want to get drawn into that debate, so let me just say this: you’re wrong. Pork chops are God’s greatest gift to the taste buds and the stomach and every day spent not eating them is a day in your life wasted.

Anyway, the pork chops, they were sizzling and getting pretty close to being ready. Also, to complicate things, the bath had just been run and the water was nicely hot. Now, I had something of a dilemma. Do I eat the chops and let the bath go cold? Do I jump in the bath and let the chops go cold? It’s a tough one.

I leapt to a logical conclusion – why not combine the two? And I did. I plonked the chops on a plate with a knife and fork, stripped off and jumped in the bath.

Looking back on it, it’s probably not good form – eating dinner in the bath. There are probably OH&S rules against it. But hey – you gotta do what you gotta do.

Running
I went for a run this morning, starting and finishing at my office in the city. As I started out I noticed an unfamiliar sensation. The air seemed moist, and the ground slightly wet. Also, there appeared to be some sort of liquid falling from the sky. It didn’t take me more than a few blocks to realise this was rain! Rain! You remember that, back from the good old days before climate change.

It was more of a drizzle to be honest, and a pleasant drizzle at that. By the end I was a touch wet and dripping. It’s not a good sign when you have to stop and wring out your shirt. Ah well, I’ll probably get a cold now.

yes we can

I’m looking out my office window as we speak and I see the normally parched and arid city looking joyously damp and cold and, well, Melbournely.

Praise be to Obama! Can we break the drought, yes we can! (No, wait – that’s Bob the Builder).

It is nice to see Obama elected. Compared to his predecessor, he seems like a superman. I guess he didn’t have much to compare with. All he needed to do was speak in complete sentences and declare war on the right country.

I don’t think he IS superman, though. He’s not going to fix Iraq, Afghanistan, the economy and the environment in one fell swoop. And he’s not final proof the US is over racism.

I feel a touch sorry for old John McCain, in a way. He seems a decent sort, but had the misfortune of running at a time when his party was really unpopular, and against an opponent who oozed charisma from every pore.

Running
I’ve run what feels like an awful lot this past week. I’ve run all over the place; not for office but that’s about it. Since I last blogged (Wednesday afternoon) I’ve run 18km on Wednesday night, 13km on Thursday lunch-time and an easy 10km this morning. I think it’s over 100km for the past week.

Nice.

I’m feeling fit and healthy, although the legs have been a touch heavy at the start of the most recent two runs. A scheduled day off is in store for me tomorrow.

it never rains

That’s not true. Drought or no drought, climate change or no climate change, it does actually rain in Melbourne town. And when it does, I invariably manage to be out in the middle of things, umbrella-less, doing my well-honed impression of a drowned rat.

I looked up from my desk this lunch-time to a view of the sun beaming away like nobody’s business. So, I slipped into my running apparel, scooted off downstairs and beetled along in the direction of the tan.

Sadly, by the time I reach the ‘G it was raining. I’ve had showers that were less wet. Baths too.

So I shuffled off back to work. 7km run – the shortest I’ve done in a long time.

Running
Yep – 7km today. Also 14.5km yesterday – from Warrandyte back to Ringwood East, via Croydon and that path alongside the train tracks.

alternate universe

I’ve always thought I was pretty grounded, eyes open, very much a part of the real world. In the last 24 hours there have been a couple of things that make me suspect I’m living in an alternate universe.

If this is reality, I don’t want any part of it:

1. Posh spice has been named the world’s sexiest mama
   Victoria’s Secret executives and designers voted, and they think Posh Spice is the sexiest mum.
2. Nicholas Cage is ready to quit acting
   Eh, acting? Since when? Oh, so that explains what he was doing in Con Air.

Stop the ride. I want to get off. A world that thinks Victoria Beckham is sexy and that Nicholas Cage can act is no place for me.

Running
I’m currently in tense negotiations with a fellow runner on the issue of a run this lunch-time. She feels reluctant to run in dripping wet clothes. I can’t think why.

sex and booze

Imagine, if you will, a terrible epidemic that spreads through out the population each spring-time. It comes on in the late morning and early afternoon and by late afternoon there are tens of thousands of otherwise healthy people staggering about the streets, decorating the place with the contents of their stomachs and falling off their shoes.

Sound familiar?

Yep, that’s right, it’s Spring Carnival time, which has roughly the same effect on my life as the apocryphal South American butterfly. Actually that’s not quite true: we don’t get a day off in Melbourne for Apocryphal South American Butterfly day. We should though, don’t you think?

At least work is quiet today, as those amongst the population with any forethought have already run for the hills, beaches, caves or anywhere were there are no horses.

Back in 2004, I was in the Provincial about 1am on the Saturday night before Cup day (Derby day?) and the joint was doing a mighty-good impression of a bar in San Fransisco when the fleet’s in. There was a “couple” there becoming rather amorous on the couch. She – mid 50s, him – late 20s; both with eyes glazed over: cigarettes and alcohol inserted in various orifices.

Anyway, I mention it as I still remember the guy looked up from his “pash“, lit a cigarette, belched, took a swig from his bourbon and coke, said “hello” and went back to the lip-action, all without taking his hand from her ample rear.

It was enough to put you off alcohol, or sex, certainly the two combined.

I wonder if they’re still together.

I don’t want you to go away thinking I’m totally against gambling and booze. God no. Horses are great animals, especially at a distance. Gambling is an excellent way to get rid of any superfluous cash you might have lying around, particularly when you’re drunk. It beats using $50 notes to light your cigar, especially with the plastic money we have now.

Also, romance has been known to blossom at the bookies. An old house-mate of mine got lucky one particularly sodden night at Moonee Valley. Not only did they remember each other’s names the next morning, but they ended up getting married. In a church. Wonders will never cease.

Running
If you detect a certain level of grumpiness in the post so far, you’re not wrong. I didn’t get to run over the weekend past, what with rain and the like, and I’m not overly happy. I do plan to run this lunch-time, so there’s a chance I’ll feel better about things in the afternoon.

gettin’ caught in the rain

If you happened to have been somewhere in the Carlton vicinity in the last hour or so, you might have had a rare treat.

Yes, that increasingly sodden, drowned-rat-like figure dressed in a running shirt coloured that particular shade of fluoro known as “run for the kids green” was me.

I did take a detour via Lygon street, in the vain hope that shop-fronts and the hordes of molto-authentico Italian waiters would give give me some protection from the rain, but to no avail.

In the end I gave up being dry, and attempted to become mentally one with the rain. I embraced my inner-wetness. It didn’t make me any more comfortable, but at least I could pretend to be a Jedi knight for a minute or so.

I made it back to work, where thankfully a towel, warm clothes, food, coffee and 3 hours of mind-numbing tedium awaited me.

Mapmyrun route here.

Marathon
My tentative plan for Melbourne Marathon 07 proceeds apace. This week I’ve upped the training to 4 days a week; around 70k. The program for the next 10 days calls for a couple of long runs around 30km, possibly including the Sri Chinmoy Princess Park 30k run if I can stomach 6 more laps of the bloody place.

At the moment, I’d say I’m 35% likely to do the full in October. If I feel good about the way the next 10 days, it’ll be closer to 50%.

punctuation

There’s something about Bedford road in Ringwood East that offends my eye. Strangely, it’s neither the rail yards nor the high school and I’m pretty much indifferent to the local branch of Pizza Haven.

No, it’s one of the worst example of mangled punctuation I’ve seen in quite a long time:

Haughey,s butcher

That’s right, “Haughey,s butcher”. Who thinks it needs a comma there? A comma? My god, I’m breaking out in hives just thinking about it. Sorry, “hive,s”.

Rain
We haven’t had much actual wetness, but it’s been very pleasant to have a little gloomy weather here in Melbourne. It was an intensely soothing, almost magical, experience to lie in bed last night listening to the rain on the roof. Almost good enough to take my mind off local businesses taking the hatchet to the english language.

Running
10k this morning around the local streets. Not much to report really.