As if the state of my bank balance wasn’t proof enough, I’m rapidly coming to the conclusion that I don’t understand money.

Consider this:

A few weeks ago, the world’s financial markets were in disarray because a whole bunch of banks in America turned out to be giving out loans to any Tom, Dick or Harry with or without a job, assets or any means of support.

I believe they call it “sub-prime mortgages”. The mortgages were sub-prime in the same way Simone Warne’s marriage was ie. you can pretend it’s okay if you really want to, but anyone with any sense can see it’s not gonna last.

The inevitable results were:

  • banks going broke,
  • stocks heading into subterranean territory and
  • stockbrokers leaping from 8th floor windows.

Today I hear, Shares have hit another high:

The Australian sharemarket is in unchartered [sic] territory, having risen to a record of 6490.7 points.

What’s changed? Why was the world coming to an end two weeks ago, and now we’re richer than ever before? I don’t understand.

How about this:

France is a perfectly good country in Europe. You may have heard of them: they make cheese, they’re rude to foreigners, host the Rugby world cup and have a little bike race in July. Anyway, it turns out the entire country is broke. This is from their Prime Minister!

So France is down at the World Bank begging for an overdraft while Myer, whose shops are going up in flames like so many overpriced Joan of Arcs, is raking in the profits.

How does that make sense, I ask you?