what’s it all about?

I wrote something this morning over there at the Ausrun forum, on a post Clarkey started called “Introducing…”.

It was all about stuff like “Why did you start running?” “What do you like about it?” and “how much training do you do?”, that sort of stuff. I, dutifully, filled the thing out and clicked “publish”.

Simple.

The thing is, that last question about training got me thinking. I’ve been running 60km a week, sometimes more, and I have no idea why. I’m not training for a marathon, I’m not trying to lose weight. So what’s the point? Isn’t that a bit eccentric?

Possibly. Maybe I’m running those kms “because they’re there”. More likely, I just like running 5 times a week. I like it.

Running
A fartlek session this morning around Princes Park. It was the same session I did a few weeks ago but this time I managed to get a few hundred metres further, which was pleasing.

• 2×60 sec/60 float
• 4×30 sec/30 float
• 2×60 sec/60 float
• 4×30 sec/30 float
• 2×60 sec/60 float

I was pretty fagged at the end of it. Next step – the same session over rolling hills. That’s fun. No, really.

ouch

I read it on the internet, so it must be true, apparently in PNG, A pregnant woman hung from a tree after being accused of sorcery gave birth to her baby while struggling to free herself.

Her husband is quoted as saying:

“We managed to loosen the noose to get our feet on the ground … we were able to free ourselves.

“My wife, who was about seven months pregnant, delivered the baby while struggling to free herself.

“It was a painful experience for me and her,”

No shit.

Running
My run this morning was considerably less painful. 13.5km in right on an hour, from the city, down St Kilda Road, cutting across to Beaconsfield parade and then back via Port Melbourne. Nice. Here it is on mapmyrun.com.

so you think you can make a tv show

I have a confession to make: I actually quite like “So you think you can dance”, the American version. The dancers themselves were amazing athletes, and their performances were of a really high standard. The host, Cat Deeley, was gawkily attractive and winning, despite towering about a foot over everyone else on stage.

If you learned to turn down the volume whenever they swung the camera around to the judges, it was quite an enjoyable experience.

So: it was with some concern that I heard Channel 10 were starting an Australian version. Sadly, after watching it last night, I can declare it officially a stinker.

The main thing is the dancers, who simply aren’t as good. I doubt there’s one who could compete honestly in the US top 20.

Then there’s Natalie Bathingthwaite, or however you say it. I can see why she’s trying to move away from her progressively more embarrassing day role as “rock-vixen” in the Rogue Traders, and “reality TV host” would seem to be a logical progression. But god, somebody please put her out of her misery. I’ve seen deer in the headlights with more charisma: after the impact! Surely the only thing saving her from the axe is her rapidly mutating hair-do.

But the main thing is the judges. I realise there’s a long tradition of absolute prats hosting reality TV, but this is going too far.

The main guy, Jason Coleman, can’t seem to decide whether he’s English or Australian, whether he’s some metrosexual in a pink shirt or a leering, disgusting old perve salivating over 18 year-old nubile dancers. His profile online says he:

has been a fixture of the Australian dance scene for more than twenty years.

Yeah, a tap perhaps. A dripping tap.

The other guy on the panel, Matt Lee, is apparently:

an Australian dance prodigy who first began his dance career at the age of 5.

I wonder what he’s been doing in the intervening 22 years?

It’s fair to say he looks a little like Justin Timberlake. However there’s a reason JT is an international megastar and Matt Lee is judging this heap of televisual dung. His online bio trumpets his starring role in Happy Feet. That sounds pretty good, until you realise it was an animation. What was he? Third pixel from the left?

Last but not least is Bonnie Lythgoe, who is “an entertainment industry success story”, or so the story goes. It seems a little dubious to me.

As I said at the start, I’m not at all surprised it’s crap. I am surprised lots of people seem to like it. Are they seeing something I’m missing?

that’s more like it

Today’s long run was everything last week was supposed to be. It was under-control at all times, fast-ish, fluent, enjoyable and above all: cool.

I scooted up the Mullum Mullum creek and back before tootling over to Mooroolbark, just for the hell of it. Taking a circuitous route, it ended up being 25km in 1 hour 50 minutes. That’s reasonably quick for me. I finished it strongly and, if it weren’t for a sudden shower, I would have run that extra 5km lickerty-split fast. What’s more, I could quite happily run again tonight.

What a difference a week makes!

Before you say anything: I know there were no mountains today and it wasn’t 31 degrees. Don’t burst my bubble. Let me enjoy an increasing rare good mood.

letter of the week

I’m a bit of a connoisseur of letters to the editor. When I pick up a copy of the paper, that’s the first page I look for. Today’s Age, which is normally a bit boring and soft left-wing, had a bit of a doozy, from Sean Kelly of Melbourne:

RE: TRUCK traffic in Yarraville, New Age bohemians without enough serious cash to buy in Williamstown, Carlton or Fitzroy buy tiny houses from working battlers and force them out of their traditional areas in an endless pursuit to gentrify our old inner suburbs. Then they have the gall to be outraged because they’re in the middle of an industrial area and having trouble breathing and sleeping!

This is what it’s like to live in a working class area, you silly people; next to the likes of Mobil, Caltex, Shell, Pacific National etc… Guess what? Those nasty, dirty trucks are carrying the very freight that allows you to have your plasma screen, trendy furniture, stainless steel-whitegoods lifestyles. Those fashionable Smeg fridges and Sony Blu-Ray DVD systems just don’t materialise out of thin air!

Breathe long and deeply, won’t you? Those long-chained, carcinogenic, diesel emissions are performing a vital role in mankind’s forward evolutionary journey.
Sean Kelly, Melbourne

Geez, tell us what you really think!

Running
11km this lunch-time, up and down the scenic Yarra river and round-about the city. A/M joined me for 6km or so. I made the tactical mistake of attempting to run the length of Lonsdale street on the way home. It was choked with a veritable river of wigged barristers and tv crews. V. irritating.

god’s truth

There seems to be some misconception amongst you lot about my post yesterday, in which I said something along the lines of:

Julia Gillard: there’s something about her…

Now, it’s true I may have embellished the truth slightly, as I am wont to do, but as they say in the classics, many a true word spoken in jest. Or, as Geoffrey Chaucer would have it: “A man may seye full sooth in game and pley”. I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Now, those of you who were thinking this blog was just a light-hearted bunch of musings on amateur distance running: recant forthwith! I’m only 104 words into the post and already I’ve covered sex (or at least unrequited lust), classic literature and senior figures in the Australian Labour party. They should include this in the year 12 English literature syllabus, it’s that good.

Where was I? Ah yes, Julia Gillard. If I were 20 years older, or if she was 20 years younger, and I was single… I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t consider it. And, if Ralph magazine is anything to go buy, I’m not alone.

Running
Moving on to less controversial subjects: you may recall there was a small running event last weekend. No? Get with the program – here’s the original post. Anyway, since then my head has been feeling fine, but everything else has been a minefield. My thighs – usually one of my best bits – feel like somebody has been poking them with red hot pokers. Not good.

Anyone who happened to be watching me walk downhill on the way to the train station on Tuesday would have had a good laugh. I looked like some drunken, pained, effete pirate in civilian clothes.

My usual remedy for complaints of this nature is a couple of good hard laps of the tan. It never fails.

In that spirit I schlepped out for 13km around my local streets last night, then backed it up today with 12km, including two tans. Now, as predicted, every thing’s fine, so long as I don’t attempt something as outlandish as trying to bend the legs.

Note to self: never enter an event that involves running up a mountain. Ditto running down a mountain, which is somehow worse.

get outta my dreams

er yes, get into my car.

I can’t get that damnable song out of my head today. For some reason, whoever runs the loudspeaker at Ringwood East Station seems to be a great fan of Billy Ocean. Barely a day passes without one of the many gems from Mr Ocean’s ouvre being blasted into my unwilling ear-drums.

In a way, I’m kinda grateful. There’s something about a song, for example, like “Caribbean Queen” that reminds you that life is not all sweetness and light, bringing you back down to the cold hard reality that is Connex. It puts me in the correct frame of mind.

If it’s not Billy Ocean, it’s Billy Joel. Strangely, I’ve not yet heard Billy Bragg. BB would be really appropriate, what with all those songs about big corporations oppressing the working man and woman. Hello Connex.

Aphrodisiac
On another issue, it seems a lot of Ralph magazine readers’ dirty sweaty dreams have been full of our beloved Deputy Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, no doubt in various compromising positions. They’ve voted her Australia’s second sexiest woman, just behind Jennifer Hawkins.

Strange really, she’s WAY sexier than J. Hawkins. Jennifer Hawkins is just a life-size Barbie. Now, Barbie might be good-looking but she’s not sexy. Julia may be ginger and have a voice like a fish and chip shop owner from Altona, but she’s got that certain something.

You can’t tell me Kevin Rudd hasn’t thought about it on one of those long nights in cabinet “developing policy”.

philosophy

In retrospect, Sunday’s post was an unnecessarily petulant, foul-mouthed display, which should and could be avoided. If I was thinking properly I would have realised I didn’t do that badly considering:

1. I hadn’t done anywhere near enough hill training and
2. the longest run I’d done was just over 2 hours

Still, it was disappointing to finish a run feeling like you’ve underachieved. Ah well, chalk it up to experience.

Some pictures Chilliman posted on Cool Running…