eddie nowhere

Way back in October last year, I floated the idea of buying Channel 9, purely for the pleasure of “boning” Eddie McGuire.

Now my plan certainly had a great deal of support out there, but not in the way that counts – vis-a-vis money, dosh, moolah and lots of it.

Never mind: time, karma and the relentless grinding wheels of fate have done my work for me; and as of today, Monsieur McGuire is no longer the Channel 9 CEO.

Now, I don’t want to be seen to be taking pleasure in another’s misfortune, so I will confine myself to a single “Na-na na na–na na” and just the one giggle.

I note Eddie has been feverishly denying he was “boned” or “given the flick”. Sure, Eddie, whatever you reckon.

You were “shafted”. Is that better?

Running
10k last night on wet-ish roads. It was quite an enjoyable run, in that the hills weren’t overly challenging (they have moods, hills, in case you haven’t noticed).

I’m getting increasingly paranoid though; I tended to be overly cautious going around corners and scooting over muddy bits. I have no desire to twist an ankle or something at this point in my career.

Music
Some more songs for the last-bit-of-the-marathon file:

• Wilco – I’m a wheel
• Luther Allison – Ragged & Dirty. At that point I probably will be ragged, if not dirty. The question is will I be hip? Luther A. was, but it seems unlikely I’ll manage that particular feat.

bad behaviour

Km: 13.624, for the week: 26

You know we’re in trouble when Today Tonight is driving the country’s news agenda, but that’s what seems to have happened this week. The big story, in case you haven’t heard, is around a bunch of morons from Werribee, or thereabouts, who filmed themselves doing a whole series of violent, stupid things including sexually assaulting a 17 year-old girl. They then made it into a DVD and sold it at various schools across the western suburbs.

Violence, pornography, entrepenaurialism and obsessive self-promotion all seem to be encouraged lately, but in this case they’ve come in for bit of fire. (and seem to be in some trouble with the rozzers).

Most of the comment I’ve seen seems along the lines of “how could anyone do this to a girl? It doesn’t make sense”.

Well, yes and no.

By any civilised standards, what the boys in the videos did was wrong, appalling. I can’t condemn it enough. Also, filming yourself and then selling the DVD in schools makes it even worse. But from their point of view it probably does make sense.

What everyone has been overlooking is, what you might call, the Jackass factor. The DVD looks like Jackass DVD, the boys act like Jackass guys and do stuff that they probably think Jackass would do.

“But wait” I hear you say, “Jackass is just for fun. They don’t rape anyone on the show.”

Well that’s true, but from a 16 year-old male perspective it’s not really the point. The reason Jackass is so successful is that it deliberately steps outside normal boundaries; they’re intentionally painful, stupid and offensive.

To me, that sounds exactly like the morons from Werribee.

enough already

km: for the weekend 28, this morning 12

A new day dawns and with it a new week, and as I sit over my morning sip of the soothing oolong and smoked kipper, the snail on its bud and the lark on the wing; I say to myself “Can I possibly fit more PG Wodehouse references into this sentence without a crowbar?”

Well, no, obviously. It’s probably not even physically possible in this day and age, when Ask Jeeves has become the infinitely less pleasing “Ask”, and using of the words “spats”, “terribly white” and “Gussie Fink-Nottle” only gets you blank stares of incomprehension, even amongst the intelligentsia.

Er, where was I?

Ah yes – that’s it. It’s a new day and a damn fine one too. I woke this morning with the birds, left my loved-ones sleeping like babes and semi-slept-walked for 12.38km (thankyou Mr Gmaps Pedometer) through the wilds of Croydon and Ringwood. The snail was on its bud… wait stop that, I’m starting to go around in circles.

In media news, my bid for the 9 network has run into a couple of challenges in the form of a bunch of venture capitalists from the US. Using the quick thinking for which this blog is world-renowned, I decided to switch to buying the Age, only to find another rich Yankee had just bought great slabs of that too. I’m beginning to suspect these billionaires know something I don’t.

I guess that’s what you get when you go around NOT giving money to the Liberal party.

karl stefanovic

Km: 13, for the week: 23

Good and bad today, faithful readers and generous benefactors…

Bad first -Within two days my running related mood seems to have gone from stellar to somewhere down low with the wines and spirits. It might have something to do with the fact that I woke up at exactly 5:20 this morning, never the best time to be awake. It might have something to do with the fact that I managed to be both hot and sweaty AND rained upon.

Hmmm…

On the plus side, as I staggered along the Mullum-Mullum trail, looking like Paris Hilton falling out of a nightlub, I overheard a nice lady say to her husband “I’ll never be able to run that fast”. I would like to take this opportunity to say to that lady “thankyou. You have made my day”.

In financial news, my plan to buy channel 9 proceeds a-pace. At last count I’ve raised $4billion plus whatever lies between Em‘s cushions.

Our proposed schedule of endless reruns of great marathons past and present is a potential ratings bonanza.

There is some debate as to the best way to handle Mike Munro (“not at all thankyou”, “with a bargepole” are common opinions). The best idea I’ve heard so far is to put him, Karl Stefanovik, Ray Martin, Richard Wilkins and the guy who hosts Temptation in a small room and then drown them all in brill-cream.

As always, I’m open to suggestions.