lay off Croydon

If you needed any convincing that Facebook is evil, then this should do it:

Croydon Facebook quiz sparks ire

Apparently, some wags on the site have set up a quiz with questions like
“what type of Croydon citizen are you?’’ with the results including junkie, teenage mother and pedophile.

Funny.

I have no problem with making fun of suburbs. The thing is – it’s just not even accurate. Croydon’s actually pretty nice place to be, if a little staid. It’s green and leafy, there are parks and things. The bits up in Croydon North are hilly with lots of nice views. I’m told nice people live there…..

Before you say anything, I have been known to make fun of the place myself on occasion, but that was back before I knew better. I still can’t really cope with the roundabout near Aldi, but I’ve come to terms with it.

Running
A long boring run last night. It was so boring I hurried through it, just to get it over and done with. I basically ran from my place in Ringwood East down Maroondah Highway to Middleborough road and back.

It was sooooo scenic. There was McDonalds, Bunnings, Harvey Norman AND JB Hifi. Sadly, all except Maccas were shut. Oh well.

21.4kms in about 90 minutes.

This lunchtime I did a lazy 13km in the city on my lunchbreak.

Training
Because last Sunday’s long run got delayed until Monday, this week is looking set to be some sort of record. If everything goes to plan I’ll run well over 130km this week. I’ve already done 94 since Monday.

Full on.

camelback is go

I feel I can safely say my experiment with on-board hydration, vis a vis using a Camelback, was a great success.

Incidentally, does one “use” a Camelback or “wear” it? Perhaps “carry”? “Drink”? It’s a tricky one.

Moving on: I had a long-ish run planned for today, and I managed it all-right, thanks to my new friend the camelhump. I went from home down the long hill to Warrandyte, then back again taking the long way home, via Croydon.

I was reasonably happy with the way it went. I took the first, mostly downhill, part slowly and steadily, reasoning correctly that, on an out and back course, what goes down must come up. It certainly did come up, but not too drastically.

I was sweaty, but not chafed and fortunately had a nice bit of plastic to suck on when it all got too much. I detoured through North Croydon and Croydon proper, just to pad out the kilometres a touch.

27km in 2 hours 15. Not fast, by any means, but okay given the level of hills. Here it is on mapmyrun.com.

The camelback has passed the test and will stay. It should open up some new long runs for me, now that I don’t have to worry about water.

Morsey
Welcome Morsey, to the “I hate my job” club.

I just had an idea which, thanks to the nature of blogging, I can publish to a potentially vast audience without any sort of reflection or quality control.

Here it is: we should all swap jobs for the month of January. Morsey: you can come and design websites at my place. I’ll go look after Andrew‘s work and Andrew can be Em for a few weeks.

Sure, I have no idea whatsoever what AJH does, but I’m sure I can improvise for a few weeks. It’s bound to at least be interesting, and if it backfires, at least we’ll look forward to our old jobs at the end of January.

It’s a stroke of genius, I tells you. I’m right, aren’t I?

restraint in exercise

I’m not one of those runners who obsess about their weight, or looks or health, other than wanting to be healthy enough to run. I probably only weigh myself once or twice a year – only really when I shower at my mother-in-law’s. She has a set of scales in the bathroom.

I was over there yesterday and found myself a kilo or two above fighting/marathon weight. That’s to be expected I guess, the season being what it is. Also, it’s been a while since I put in a 100km week.

It’s really not a worry – I still struggle to find pants small enough to fit me.

But I did put in an uncharacteristically long mid-week run last night. It was 18km, including a couple of laps of Croydon Golf Course. Again, not a great run, but I had some pleasing sections around the CGC, and some nice steady work over the hilly sections, such as they were.

boxing

Oooooh baby, was that a grumpy post or what? It’s amazing what a boring day at work, the flu and 4 days off running will do to a person.

Thankfully, as I pen this humble missive, the grumpiness, like Christmas itself – there’s a strange coincidence – is more or less over.

We contrived, somehow, to spend most of the day lolling about in the sunshine; self toying with the barbecue and assorted family members gambolling around with their new toys.

The little one is too small to understand the alleged joys of Christmas: he’s entirely indifferent to presents and thinks Santa is scary. He and I are of one mind on that score. But he does like toy trucks, books, sausages and the new sand-pit – all at once if possible. So all was good.

Running
But reader, and here comes the real secret, I managed a morning run! Joy of joys! The lord omnipotent reigneth!!! or something along those lines.

Now, I’m not claiming this morning’s run as a particularly good session. It was a fairly pedestrian 14k, taking in the Dorset Golf course and surrounds. But it was pleasant, and the various dog-walkers and joggers all seemed in particularly gregarious moods.

Clouds on the horizon
The problem is actually that there aren’t any (clouds on the horizon, that is). It’s going to be 38 effin‘ degrees next Monday, and 37 the following day. Woe is me.

Ah well, not much I can do about that I suppose. I’m off now to watch the Panel. I know I’m not going to like it, but somehow I don’t feel able to stop myself.

britney spears, no knickers

I’m trying a little bit of an experiment, based on this article: Aussies think knickerless Britney is pretty flash .

Apparently the most searched-for topic on the Australian bit of the web was about Britney Spears sans briefs. Strange folks. Very strange. Having seen the film clip for her latest song “gimme more” in which she continually stumbles into a pole in a laughable attempt at “sexy“, I could think of nothing worse.

It worries me that all around me are people with a morbid desire to see, presumably, Britney’s hairy bits. Yuck.

Anyway: I figure if I keep mentioning Britney’s snatch I’ll boost the old traffic levels. We’ll see.

If you are one of those people in search of Britney’s lingerie, and you have the concentration span required to reach this far down the post, I apologise. This blog probably ain’t for you.

Zac Ephron
I have no idea who this is, but apparently he’s pretty popular too.

Jessica Alba and Jennifer Hawkins
That should get the male, horny demographic interested. Sadly, I have no proof these two have even been in the same state at the same time.

Running
I went out for a 17k run last night, after the thunderstorm and accompanying flash-floods. I inexplicably failed to meet Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, or Rihanna, but that’s probably to be expected seeing as they don’t spend much time in Ringwood

I can’t imagine why. Ringwood’s ace.

ouch

I’m always happy to chew the fat with JoJo, the world-renowned blogger behind runjanerun, particularly when she’s in this sort of mood: uh-oh drunk pussycat.

Sadly, I wasn’t able to answer her question on Saturday night, owing to having other things to do….

Anyway, she expressed a desire to hear more about my whacking-the-elbow-and-writhing-around-in-pain incident from Friday. You might want to call that sadistic; I wouldn’t dare. So here goes, picture this:

Friday; morning; Yarra trail between Punt Road and Chapel street heading away from the city. Your humble correspondent sweating it up at a great rate, and also keeping a watchful eye out for lycra-clad speed demons.

All of a sudden, whoosh!!! from out of nowhere up jumped a great evil-looking fence. It must have been at least 12 feet tall. It’s eye, if it had one, would no doubt have been beady and evil-looking. I have an impression it was carrying some sort of firearm and had a few nasty friends lurking around.

Anyway, it jumped out, as I said, and whacked me on the elbow. Bam!

Owing to the great speed I was travelling (see above) it hurt. It hurt enough so I thought it was possibly broken. I pulled over to a convenient grassy bit (possibly a grassy knoll, whatever that is) and proceeded to rub the offending elbow and wince.

I was feeling generous, so allowed myself a grand total of 4 minutes feeling-sorry-for-myself time and then moved on.

I forgot all about it until that night, when I tried to lie on my left side, only to discover my elbows had gotten all out of whack. The right was as normal, the left seemed to have doubled in size and gone an attractive shade of purple.

It’s better now, you’ll be relieved to hear (unless your name is JoJo).

Running
I headed out yesterday morning for a brisk-ish 20k around the streets near me. I say brisk, but it’s all relative. There was a bit of a feral northerly wind, which hindered my progress somewhat, particularly along Dorset road. That was unfortunate, as Dorset road isn’t generally somewhere I like to spend a great deal of time.

I’ve passed 2850km for the year now. 3000km, here I come.

good stuff

As I wrote on Andrew’s blog the other day, I’m really enjoying running at the moment. It’s nice to run just for the pleasure of the thing, and without that sense of dread and panic a marathon always gives you.

It helps that 42.195k at just over 4 minute ks seems to have done something to the muscle memory in my legs. 15kph just seems really comfortable at the moment.

Last night I did my usual 13k course around the streets near my house. It’s a bit up, a bit down, and pretty flat and fast for the last 4k. As usual, I lifted the pace towards the end.

V. enjoyable.

It’s 29 degrees in Melbourne today, so I’ll give the running a miss. I can do that: there’s no nasty training program telling me what to do. Yippee.

Spam update
The spammer brigade have risen to the challenge and sent me a whole new set of special messages over night:

“2400 S USE” tells me “deposits are made safely and securely”, which I take as a fairly straightforward “give me your credit card details and I’ll take all you money” scam. No thanks.

“Visit USA Casino” has a very enticing offer: “Win $$$ instead of throwing it away at all those other online casinos”.

What? Do you mean “Royal VIP Casino, where everybody is king” isn’t legit? Say it ain’t so….

I can’t keep up.

“Gaspar Ferrez” tells me I’m gorgeous. “That was amazing, how many orgasms did I have?” How would I know Gaspar? I’m a man. Anyway, seeing as I’ve never met you, I have a sneaking suspicion you faked it.

Which reminds me of a terrible joke; clearly not suitable for a family friendly environment like this.

It’s all too confusing. Thank God/Google for gmail’s spam folder.

iphones and sleep

This story is a bit sad eh? ….

Greg Packer, the first man in line at Apple’s flagship store in New York is now the proud owner of a 4GB iPhone. But because he hasn’t signed up to a plan, the phone lies dormant.

Packer, who we interviewed last week shortly after he began his 109-hour vigil outside the iconic Fifth Avenue Apple Store, turns out to be something of a professional line sitter.

According to reports, the retired highway maintenance worker has been widely quoted over the years as a member of the public in articles and television broadcasts stretching back to 1995.

Packer was reportedly the first in line when the viewing platform at ground zero at the World Trade Centre opened in 2001; he was at the front of the queue to sign a condolence book at the British consulate after Princess Diana’s death 10 years ago and he was again at the head of the queue in January 2001 at the inauguration of US President George Bush.

Although Packer wasn’t able to tell us how the phone worked, he did say the experience of being first in line was like being a celebrity – “like Bono” – in a crowd. “It was like being a god,” he said in a telephone interview.

Packer said he had been offered “envelopes of money” to give up his poll position but resisted the temptation. “I didn’t want envelopes,” he said. “I wanted a briefcase.”

From the age online.

I don’t mean to judge an entire group of people on just that one guy, but don’t you think Apple devotees are just the teensiest bit irritating? I know that’s heresy, and that right now there will be people angrily throwing their white, designer ipods, their white designer imacs and their white designer iphones at their white designer iwalls, but really don’t you think you should just chill out?

The guys who write South Park got it spot on when they renamed the Toyota Prius the Toyota “Pious”. Apple geeks are pretty much the same. Yes – I know Microsoft sucks. Yes, Apple are probably much better machines/software. Frankly I don’t care. All this talk about i-this and i-that: it just makes my eyes glaze over. And that stupid “Mac guy” makes me want to punch someone. Preferably him, but anyone will do.

Running
I trotted around Croydon and surrounds last night; just my usual 12k run up and down hills.

Since the marathon – which, funnily enough, coincided with the onset of full-strength, undiluted winter – I’ve switched from super-early morning runs to lunch and evening runs.

I’m going to have to ease up on the before bed-time runs though. I find I drop into bed and then lie there, wide awake, for hours. It’s all the adrenaline/dopamine running through the system. It doesn’t aid sleep.

If and when I actually get the chance to sleep, I NEEEEEEED to take it with both hands, so to speak. I’d quite happily give you all the money I have (not much) just don’t take my sleep.