herding cats

I kinda like Julia Gillard. I have even, in weaker moments, considered her not completely unattractive (for a politician). I like that she lives in Altona, that she has red hair, that she can completely wind Tony Abbott around her little finger, that she’s an aethist.

All of which makes it hard to see her in the current situation. I don’t think it’s going too far to describe it as a “scrape”. She has managed to form a government, but it’s not a proper one: it’s a minority government. And, if you believe Andrew Bolt, minorities mean trouble with a capital T.

On the one hand, she has the Greens, who all look like Jarvis Cocker and believe a whole lot inconvenient (to Julia) stuff about climate change and gay rights and things. Then she also has Andrew Wilkie, an irritatingly sensible independent thinking type, who is unlikely to take orders. Then there’s Rob Oakeshott, who seems a complete giggling lightweight in love with the sound of his own voice, and who has way too much power. And Tony Windsor, a straight-talkin’ type who I believe was actually in Dad and Dave (I may be wrong).

In the middle of all of this is the Labour Party itself, and its legendary back-room boys, who are not averse to a bit of knife-in-the-back stuff the minute they start to worry about the latest Newspoll.

So, she has a fun few years ahead of her. Good luck to her.

Good luck to us, every one.

Running
20.1 comfortable kms this morning in beautiful conditions. Well, the route was pretty ordinary, but the weather was (as Richie Benaud might say) just a bit short of a good temperature.

Motivation
I’m feeling a bit lacking in motivation lately. I’ve been pretty focussed on marathon training all year, and now I’m only a few weeks away from the actual event, I’ve just lost it a bit. Getting sick, and having sore legs probably doesn’t help. It’ll pick up soon enough I’m sure. I’m expecting the pre-race nerves to kick in in the next fortnight or so.

god’s truth

There seems to be some misconception amongst you lot about my post yesterday, in which I said something along the lines of:

Julia Gillard: there’s something about her…

Now, it’s true I may have embellished the truth slightly, as I am wont to do, but as they say in the classics, many a true word spoken in jest. Or, as Geoffrey Chaucer would have it: “A man may seye full sooth in game and pley”. I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Now, those of you who were thinking this blog was just a light-hearted bunch of musings on amateur distance running: recant forthwith! I’m only 104 words into the post and already I’ve covered sex (or at least unrequited lust), classic literature and senior figures in the Australian Labour party. They should include this in the year 12 English literature syllabus, it’s that good.

Where was I? Ah yes, Julia Gillard. If I were 20 years older, or if she was 20 years younger, and I was single… I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t consider it. And, if Ralph magazine is anything to go buy, I’m not alone.

Running
Moving on to less controversial subjects: you may recall there was a small running event last weekend. No? Get with the program – here’s the original post. Anyway, since then my head has been feeling fine, but everything else has been a minefield. My thighs – usually one of my best bits – feel like somebody has been poking them with red hot pokers. Not good.

Anyone who happened to be watching me walk downhill on the way to the train station on Tuesday would have had a good laugh. I looked like some drunken, pained, effete pirate in civilian clothes.

My usual remedy for complaints of this nature is a couple of good hard laps of the tan. It never fails.

In that spirit I schlepped out for 13km around my local streets last night, then backed it up today with 12km, including two tans. Now, as predicted, every thing’s fine, so long as I don’t attempt something as outlandish as trying to bend the legs.

Note to self: never enter an event that involves running up a mountain. Ditto running down a mountain, which is somehow worse.

get outta my dreams

er yes, get into my car.

I can’t get that damnable song out of my head today. For some reason, whoever runs the loudspeaker at Ringwood East Station seems to be a great fan of Billy Ocean. Barely a day passes without one of the many gems from Mr Ocean’s ouvre being blasted into my unwilling ear-drums.

In a way, I’m kinda grateful. There’s something about a song, for example, like “Caribbean Queen” that reminds you that life is not all sweetness and light, bringing you back down to the cold hard reality that is Connex. It puts me in the correct frame of mind.

If it’s not Billy Ocean, it’s Billy Joel. Strangely, I’ve not yet heard Billy Bragg. BB would be really appropriate, what with all those songs about big corporations oppressing the working man and woman. Hello Connex.

Aphrodisiac
On another issue, it seems a lot of Ralph magazine readers’ dirty sweaty dreams have been full of our beloved Deputy Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, no doubt in various compromising positions. They’ve voted her Australia’s second sexiest woman, just behind Jennifer Hawkins.

Strange really, she’s WAY sexier than J. Hawkins. Jennifer Hawkins is just a life-size Barbie. Now, Barbie might be good-looking but she’s not sexy. Julia may be ginger and have a voice like a fish and chip shop owner from Altona, but she’s got that certain something.

You can’t tell me Kevin Rudd hasn’t thought about it on one of those long nights in cabinet “developing policy”.

daredevil

Rest easy dear reader: this isn’t about Daredevil, the movie with Ben “Mr Charisma” Affleck. Not at all, it’s all about Robbie Maddison. Robbie, if you didn’t know, is the guy who just set the world record for longest motorbike jump in, naturally, Las Vegas:

Aussie jumps for joy at record bike leap

I’m all for this particular form of stupidity. If people want to launch themselves 100 metres up in the air on a motorbike, I say go for it. Why not? Just let know in advance so I’m not standing underneath.

Robbie’s going to give it another go in a few weeks, this time at Calder park, which strikes me as an ideal place to plunge to a fiery death. That being said, I must say this quote concerned me a bit:

“There is no doubt in my mind that if this next jump doesn’t work out it will be death.”

Death for who? Does he have a temper? If he falls short by a metre or so, will he strangle the cat? The article doesn’t elaborate.

Suffice to say, the whole event should be fraught with interest. It could be almost as messy as the Guns n Roses concert.

Running
I’m back at work, life is returning to normality, and all is good. A few laps of the tan were in order, and duly delivered. I took the long way there and back and ended up with 13.75km in 55 minutes. Not bad.

Schadenfreude
A few people who shall remain nameless have very helpfully pointed out some errors in recent posts. Some people, for example jojo and Jaykay, might argue along the lines of “don’t dish it out if you can’t take it” or words to that effect.

That clearly doesn’t apply in this case. Just like the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, this blog cannot hope to be useful or informative on all matters but it does make the reassuring claim that where it is inaccurate, it is at least definitively inaccurate. In cases of major discrepancy it is always reality that’s got it wrong.

So there.

Altona
I note our Acting Prime Minister, Ms Gillard has moved the seat of power from Canberra to Altona. Canberra one day, Altona the next, our country gets to visit the most interesting places….

Tip of the week
From Viz.co.uk:

WHEN cooking spaghetti, tie all the ends together. That way you can eat it in one long suck, eliminating the drudgery of washing up knives and forks.
Johnny Schott, Hackney

Why didn’t I think of that?

everyone loves Kevin Rudd

Allow me to be the first person to say, Julia Gillard is the most attractive deputy leader of the Australian Labor Party of all time.

Firstly – I know there’s not much competition, Paul Keating aside.

Secondly, before you say it – I know it’s a fairly sexist thing to say. In my defence, when a politician has her picture taken looking glamourous on a beach, I think she’s inviting a certain amount of phwoaaring.

Thirdly – let me qualify myself – she’s the most attractive etc. until she opens her mouth. Then it’s another story completely.

Anyway, as you probably know by now, Kevin Rudd and Julia Gillard have won, quite convincingly and are now leading the ALP. Congratulations to them, I say.

I have mixed feelings about Rudd. He’s clearly very intelligent and manages to string a sentence together on a fairly regular basis. He’s also friendly enough to the US not to scare the right-wing press too much. He’s a christian, which doesn’t win too many points with me, but probably helps make him more electable.

The only thing real downside, apart from the fact he looks like the sort of kid Harry Potter would have shunned for being too geeky, is that he hasn’t much experience of domestic issues.

As for Beazley…

I hate to be uncharitable, but I have no sympathy for the guy. [edit: this was written before I found out about his brother. I didn’t mean to be that heartless. just a little bit] He’s had multiple chances to lead the party and consistently failed. Not only has he failed to articulate an argument against Howard, on some issues he hasn’t even tried. I’m thinking especially on Tampa back in 2001. The best thing for him to do is retire and live on his $100,000 a year pension, or whatever it is.

ps. I did some running at some point in the weekend. At least I think I did?