that’s more like it

Today’s long run was everything last week was supposed to be. It was under-control at all times, fast-ish, fluent, enjoyable and above all: cool.

I scooted up the Mullum Mullum creek and back before tootling over to Mooroolbark, just for the hell of it. Taking a circuitous route, it ended up being 25km in 1 hour 50 minutes. That’s reasonably quick for me. I finished it strongly and, if it weren’t for a sudden shower, I would have run that extra 5km lickerty-split fast. What’s more, I could quite happily run again tonight.

What a difference a week makes!

Before you say anything: I know there were no mountains today and it wasn’t 31 degrees. Don’t burst my bubble. Let me enjoy an increasing rare good mood.

crap, crap, crap and david beckham

It may surprise you to learn, dear reader, that my running isn’t entirely comprised of world records, near world records and personal bests. In fact, I have been known to run – gasp – slowly.

Last night, for example, was an absolute dog of a run. Yes, it was hot and yes I hadn’t exactly prepared well for it, but that’s no excuse.

It was around 13k along the Mullum Mullum creek and back. It started slow, got slower and then ground to a stuttering, stitched halt about 20 times on the way back.

There were harsh words spoken. I have a vague, sweaty sort of memory of saying to myself semi-audibly:

“You’re a ***ing ****ing unfit lazy *****”

Insert your favourite four-letter-word, as required.

Turning to more positive things
From the Herald Sun online:

Jogger left to die in gutter after hit and run

Man, that’s not positive! I give up. It’s no use.

David Beckham
Plenty of people tell me I remind them of “Becks”.

Truly.

Not the looks or footballing talent or stupid wife, obviously – mainly the effeminate voice and low IQ.

Still, it’s something.

Anyway – he played in Sydney last night against, funnily enough, Sydney FC. He played pretty well and scored a nice goal from a free-kick. The rest of his team aren’t exactly world-beaters though. They play like they’re on valium. Ah well.

the big three oh oh oh

I hit the orange “publish post” button at 7:00pm last night while lying about my house like a lizard on a rock. I believe I may have been moaning, I certainly groaned at least once.

As is often the case, the darkest hour was right before the dawn, if you take my meaning. 5 minutes later I said to myself “actually it’s not so bad”. 10 minutes later “this breeze is quite nice”. At exactly 7:30, having shorted, singletted, shoed and socked-myself up I headed out the door for a run.

“Why?” I can hear you asking. “What possible reason, other than congenital stupidity, could I have for a run on a 37 degree day?”

I’ll tell you: a quick browse of my training log, and some mental ‘rithmatic done mainly on my fingers, and it was clear 3000km was in sight.

So off I trundled, at a very conservative pace, up Mullum Mullum and around the salubrious streets of Croydon North and Ringwood East.

By my calculations, I passed the 3000km mark somewhere on Maroondah Highway, possibly out the front of Maccas. I was probably hyperventilating, sweating bugs, listening to “Upstarts in a blowout” and swallowing about 3 dozen bugs.

It’s hard work sometime, but it’s worth it. Possibly.

I got home and basked in the glow of achievement, having run 3000km for the calendar year.

As it turns out, that “glow” was heat stroke, but hey, it’s close enough for me.

new picture

I don’t know if you were one of the readers of my blog a few weeks ago when I discussed buying a pair of Skins. My reasoning at the time was that “it’ll make me look damn sexy.”

Now, I know that’s one of the more ridiculous assertions in living memory, too stupid even for the internet. What’s more, as it turns out, it’s completely unnecessary.

What am I on about? Not sure, let me gather my thoughts…. Ah yes, that was it.

Have you noticed there’s a new picture on my profile? Up there on the right of screen? Yep, that’s the one – me at the beach sometime last year.

In the interests of keeping a standardised visual style across all marketing channels (I don’t know what that means either) I put that picture on my facebook profile too. (If you don’t know what facebook is, lucky you.)

Well, anyway, it’s been a bit of hit, at least on facebook. Going by the comments I’ve received, it turns out I am sexy or, in the correct parlance,”hot”. Although, the picture only seems to work its magic on the male half of the species, thanks “Peter Gilfillan”.

Sadly for Peter, I’m married and not at all interested. Also, that photo was taken before 12 months of sleeplessness and marathon training robbed my skin of its youthful elasticity and my face of its ruddy good cheer.

Running
Another Saturday arvo long run last weekend. Regular readers will know I’m not a fan of the afternoon long run, particularly when it crosses into night-time. But, this is a cross I have to bear, boom, boom.

33k, including 3 laps of the effin’ Mullum Mullum creek trail and half a dozen strides at the end, for no other reason than blatant self-hatred. Ah, well, the things we do.

whimsy, eroticism and the long run

A friend of a friend, by way of damning with faint praise, recently told me my blog and the sister blog It makes me mad, are written in a “whimsical” style.

That might be case, but I can’t take the credit entirely. When you read as much PG Wodehouse as I do, whimsy is nigh-on inescapable. You just open your mouth and out comes Bertie Wooster.

It could be worse, I suppose. It’s hard to take yourself too seriously when using the word “spiffing” in normal conversation.

However, in recent weeks I have discovered a little service known to the cognoscenti as the “public library”, which stocks a wide range of books, only a tiny fraction of which concern the occupants of the Drones cub.

So, given that my reading options now include “erotic thrillers” like “In the Cut” and difficult to categorise stuff like “The Virgin Suicides”, I’m a bit concerned about what’s going to happen to my writing style.

In coming weeks, will I too start writing “erotically thrilling” running blogs? God help us. The mind boggles.

In the cut
Speaking of “In the cut”: aside from than the inordinate amount of time all the characters spend giving each other oral sex, it wasn’t terribly erotic. I happen to know it was made into a movie with Meg Ryan, which also puts a bit of a dampener on the whole erotic side of things.

Interstingly, the tagline for the movie was “everything you know about desire is wrong”. Oh yeah? I know it doesn’t involve Meg Ryan, that’s for sure.

The term “thriller” is a bit inaccurate too. The only thrilling bit is where Meg Ryan gets hacked to pieces with a shaving razor, and that was only thrilling because that’s where the story ends. I guess it had to end there, it stretches credulity a bit much to have a narrator hacked into a million bits and still keep talking.

Running
I promised a long run this weekend and true to my word, a long run was delivered. It wasn’t pretty, but it was long. I pottered down to the Mullum Mullum creek, zoomed up and down a couple times, dodging the puddles and then home. At that point I did some rough calculations in my head and realised it wasn’t nearly enough.

So I went out again, and trotted along for another 8ks, giving a total of 30k. Mapmyrun.com didn’t seem to like my route. It kept popping up with messages like “You’ve already done that bit. Are you sure?” in a faintly disapproving tone before flatly refusing to accept that anyone could be stupid enough to do that route.

I don’t blame it, really. It wasn’t a great run. Still, it’s the first 30k training run down. If I can do another 6-8 of those, Melbourne Marathon 2007 is a possibility.

beige

A very quick post today, as I’m not only wasting time during work hours, but wasting time during a terribly informative seminar…..

I talked, flippantly, on Friday of a “slight stiffness” in the hip. Truth be told, it was a fair bit more than “slight stiffness”. Actually there was a fair bit of standing on the side Maroondah Highway, rubbing the leg and cursing bitterly.

So, Saturday, there was no running whatsoever. Just some house-work and general handimanishness. The bathroom is now painted a lovely shade of Manhattan beige. Not exactly the colour I would have chosen, but that’s not up to me.

Sunday dawned bright, well, er, it dawned, and anyway I was feeling okay. So I head out for a ginger, delicate, slow long run along the Mullum Mullum creek. It turned out okay – 3 laps, plus some faffing about at then. It turned out to be 34k. 34 slow km, but 34k nonetheless.

Generally, pretty heatwarming. It’s good to know I can run over 30k almost effortlessly and good to know the hip thing doesn’t hold me back too much.

Football
The big game on Saturday night was a bit of a disappointment. It was 1-1. It could be worse I suppose. We could have lost. But the general feeling around the place is a bit gloomy. Oh well.

Jaykay, you’re now one of the good guys again. I’m not one to hold a grudge.

bikes in Tassie

I’m back in civilisation now, and back to the old routine. After a couple of weeks off it’s a little depressing to be doing the normal ironing and stuff.

Tassie was beautiful, as expected. We spent most of the time in and around Hobart. It feels like an exceptionally laid-back country town, with a veneer of sophistication around Salamanca place. The city’s setting is spectacular – a friend of ours has a little flat with a view of the water AND the mountain. Nice.

Running was a bit curtailed, due to family commitments. I only managed a short-ish run along the river, which I gmaped at just under 12k. There’s a nice bike track which runs from the cenotaph near the city and heads north. I ran as far as New Town and then turned back.

If there are any Taswegians reading this, perhaps you can enlighten me. What’s the go with bike etiquette down there? I must have been passed by dozens of bikes and not one of them rang their bells. The bikes that came towards me refused to make eye contact too. Is it just me? Was I emitting some kind of mainland smell or something?

This morning was a 28k trip involving multiple laps of the Mullum Mullum creek trail. I’m heartily sick of the place now.

So that was the easy week of my program. Theoretically I should be rested now. Theoretically. Next week it’s back into the normal routine (80k plus).

I’m off to read other blogs now and catch up with life in general.

too much running

I’ve been casting around for things to write about, now that I’ve sworn off all things public-transport. This blog has always been basically about running, hence the title, but I’m aware not everyone is as fascinated by LSD and fartlek as I. Therefore I try to add a little other stuff just to sweeten the pill, so to speak.

No need to thank me, it’s all part of the service.

So what are other people writing about? Here are some of my current non-running-related favourites:

What Ho Proles! “Being the diary of an English Tory Gentleman” – a lot better than it sounds
Richard Dawkins.net – the world’s most famous aetheist
Road to Surfdom – not (much) about surfing, lots of good stuff about politics etc.
Frankie Valley – not the 50s singer – a brilliant blog on Charlton Athletic. Comments and responses almost as good as the main blog. An absolute genius at winding up moronic English football fans, not that it’s all that hard really.

Some running sites:

Running all over the place – a strange attraction for Craig Mottram and various members of the New Zealand cricket team. More obsessed with running than me. Makes me feel lazy.
Tails from the trail – includes a tattoo removal section. Very helpful.

Running
A quick glance at my online training diary gizmo will show you a bit of difference between column C and E this last week. I’ve managed to stretch a planned 60k week into an actual 74k.

Mostly it was because I couldn’t find routes that went for exactly 10 or 8ks. Yesterday however, I just didn’t feel ready to stop at 20k. It was much more of a 30k day, perhaps more. The sun was shining, there was a lovely cool breeze and I set the mp3 player to shuffle and let it throw up a succession of great songs. A relatively slow pace, but perhaps marginally too fast for a standard LSD. 4.7 minutes per k.

An example – Berceause by Gabriel Faure, followed by Coffee and TV, by Blur. As a playlist, it works remarkably well.

Back to the running, I just don’t see the point in pulling back my training to match the program.