I’m melting

Hot weather sucks the big one, not to put too fine a point on it.

There’s absolutely nothing to be said in favour of it. You can’t run to any great degree (although I note some people don’t seem to realise this) and you can’t really do any gardening. The lists of things you can’t do stretches on and on, until all you have left that you can do is sit around and swelter in the house.

Actually, I take that back. There’s one thing to be said for hot weather – it makes the inside of Eastland Shopping Centre look vaguely attractive. If you knew my thoughts on Eastland, you would know how amazing that is.

Anyway, no running today. I did pay a brief visit to the pool and clambered up and down a few times. Plus the visit to Eastland, which exercised whatever muscles you use to grind your teeth.

sigh….

Dear reader, my supplies of the Christmas spirit, already at historically low levels, are officially at a low ebb.

Think of it as something like the water shortages. Back when you and I were kids it used to rain more or less constantly from May to October, Lake Eildon was a lake and if you planted some vegies in your backyard, you had a reasonable chance of them growing.

No longer. 10 years of below average rainfall have put paid to that. They graze cows where Lake Eildon used to be. Cows!

They might as well graze cows in the bits where my Christmas spirit used to be, cause there’s nothing there now, let me tell you.

It doesn’t help that I’m right at the peak of a case of the flu, that I’m stuck here at work and that I haven’t run for four days. Four days without running is enough to give me the major grumps at the best of times.

Saturday’s trip to Eastland was probably ill-advised too. If you’ve ever tried to feed baby-chino to a screaming 17 month-old in a cafe outside “Hairhouse warehouse” you’ll know what I’m talking about.

There’s nothing for it but to grit my teeth and bear it. In a couple of days the phlegm will recede, taking with it the tinsel, holly and mince pies and then life will get back to normal. Touch wood.

Apologies
I’m aware this post isn’t exactly brimming over with happiness and joy, but it’s the best I can do. The original draft (yes I draft these things sometimes) was littered with four-letter words of an extremely unsavoury nature.

Update
A few hours later, and I’m not so grumpy. I’m still sick, but not in the same biting-people’s-heads-off kinda mood.

I’ve just realised I’m not there is out soon. That’s a good thing, or it would be if I ever managed to get to the movies.

On the plus side, it’s about Dylan, who’s more of an influence on me than just about anyone else on this earth, and it’s directed by Todd Haynes who made one of the most beautiful films ever released (Far from heaven). Also, it has Christian Bale, who was by far the best Batman yet.

On the down-side, it has Heath Ledger, who, along with Will.I.am, is a living, breathing personification of the word “wanker”. Also, Cate Blanchett who, despite being more beautiful than any human being has a right to be, manages to spoil almost everything she puts her hand on.

She does look strangely like Dylan though, don’t you think?

Disturbing.

scaredy-cats

According to an exceedingly scientific study reported in the Herald-Sun, who I would trust with what’s left of my life:

Children are more scared of spiders, monsters and being in the dark than terrorism or war

Common fears included being hit by a car, bullying, being lost, guns and the school principal.

Strangely, none of the kids mentioned the Eastland carpark a week before christmas.

hell on earth

I think, though I’m willing to be convinced otherwise, that I have found the most god-awful location in the known universe.

Place: Photo printing booth, Big W, Eastland
Time: 11:45am, the Saturday two weeks before Christmas.

To really appreciate the ghastliness of the place, you need to have spent the best part of 40 minutes driving around in circles attempting to park the vehicle and extract the whining family members.

Go on, I dare you. Can you think of anything worse?

Running
For some reason, the way I’m walking today reminds me of an extremely old, probably offensive, joke about gypsies. You know the one: Why do gypsies walk with bowed legs? Because they have crystal balls.

So no running today, but I may venture out tomorrow morning if I managed to staunch the flow of blood.

silly season and sydney

We’re well and truly into the silly season now. It was 36 a couple of days ago and choked with smoke, and tommorrow it might snow. Work’s stopped but I’ve never felt more tired.

To top it all off – Eastland Shopping Centre has all-night shopping; which is convenient if, god help you, you feel the need to pop into Westco at 4 in the morning.

Or you could pop into Amart allsports, which is a newish sports shop there that claims to have Melbourne’s cheapest sports stuff. I don’t know what planet they’re living on, but their shoes are definitely not the cheapest. Go have a look, see what I mean.

Running

Running this week has been quite consistent with the general silly season theme, if nothing else. I only managed to run 4 times, due to a couple of days where it was too smoky for me to run. Perhaps you, kind reader, are the kind of tough guy who scoffs at puny weaklings like me who can’t run in the smoke.

I, however, come over all faint and feel a kind of tightness in the chest, headache and pain in the throat. All the smoke-induced symptoms are still there today, worse luck.

Still, I managed a relatively productive 24k today, to bring the week’s total to above 60k.

Sydney

I’m off to Sydney next Friday to spend New Year’s Eve with my papa. I’m contemplating a FatAss run in an area called Hornsby, but only in a distant, appalled sort of way. It’s 33k and I have no idea what kind of conditions there are, other than it’s described on the website as “challenging”.

That does not fill me with confidence.

Neither does the date – which is 1 January. Even I’m not that much of a masochist. Or am I?