I had rather a good run planned for this lunch-time and even went as far as getting changed before a nasty wardrobe malfunction ruined it all. I won’t go into the details as I don’t wish to upset the kiddies or put you off your wheaties. Suffice it to say: it ain’t pretty.

It wasn’t such a great loss, Melbourne seems to have gone from the height of summer to deep, dark winter in the blink of an eye. It seems like yesterday all the talk was about the best way to cram ice into various items of clothing, today every man and his dog is wrapped up in seven layers of thermal underwear. Weird.

Weird
Even wierder – have a look at this:

Demi Moore’s leech of faith
Demi Moore covers herself in blood-sucking leeches to keep her skin looking fresh.

My first thought was “that’s no way to describe Ashton Kutcher”. But no, I read on:

You watch it [the leech] swell up on your blood, watching it get fatter and fatter – then when it’s super drunk on your blood it just kind of rolls over like it is stumbling out of the bar.

Surely that’s cruelty to animals, isn’t it? Even leeches have rights, especially the right not to be subjected to Demi Moore.

Ugh.